


If I Should Tell You How I Feel...

by N_Peggy (RJPhaNTom)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: El loves Mike, El's POV of Mike's love confession in Episode 6, El's POV of the "Does Your Species Like M&M's" scene, F/M, Mike's POV of "The Sauna Test", Mike's POV of the climax and aftermath of The Battle of Starcourt, Mike’s POV of the “Blank Makes You Crazy” scene, Stranger Things 3, Stranger Things 3 Spoilers, mike loves el
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-06-09 16:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJPhaNTom/pseuds/N_Peggy
Summary: "So can we please just come up with a new plan because I love her and I can't lose her again!""I love you, too."A series of one-shots centered around Mileven and their attempts at "The First I Love You"Caution: Spoilers from Stranger Things 3!





	1. "I Love Her, and I Can't Lose Her Again!" (Episode 6)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Stranger Things 3 Premiere Day! Guess who binged through all 8 of the episodes and has basically become sad the entire day because of it? To cope, I went ahead and wrote this quick one-shot based on the argument between Mike and Max in Episode 6!
> 
> If you have not watched through Season 3 and/or you would like to avoid spoilers, please go watch it first and then come back to read this. If you don't care, well, then, enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El listens in on the argument between Mike and Max.
> 
> (El's POV of the "I love her and I can't lose her again" scene in Season 3, Episode 6)

All of this madness was riding on El.

She did her best to hone in on finding not only Billy, but Heather and her parents, Mrs. Driscoll, and several other people, quickly swiping her nose every time a fresh drop of blood flowed down, but she was finding it difficult to find everyone.

However, she was successful in finding her target, and was ready to tell the others. That’s when she started to hear an argument brewing just outside of her bedroom between Mike and Max.

She took the blindfold off, standing up, and getting ready to stop the ensuing battle of words, but she stops, listening closely to what both parties had to say as they were talking about her. 

“...She’s her own person fully capable of making her own decisions!” Max claims.

“She’s risking her own life for no reason!” Mike fires back.

El continues to hear more voices piling into the mix, arguments over what she has done to save the world, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment when she hears Mike accuse the girls of spying on the boys.

“All of you are careless with her powers!” El heard him argue over her being treated like a machine. The girl decided that she heard enough, proceeding to turn the knob of her bedroom door, hearing Mike’s rambles grow louder and faster.

“...Can we please come up with a new plan because I love her, and I can’t lose her again!” El’s hand froze, her eyes wide as she lets out a gasp. She lets go of the doorknob as she let the words run through her mind.

Her heart began to beat fast as she thought back to the last couple of days. She had to admit that she did miss him, despite dumping him because he lied to her. Max was right, she was her own person who could make her own decisions, that she was sure of. But her heart could not deny that she felt the same way about Mike; that she loved him, too. 

With that thought in mind, she opened the door, slowly walking out. “What’s going on here?” She asks, playing dumb over the initial confession she had just heard, her eyes on Mike, whose cheeks were a bright red. 

“Nothing, nothing.” The teen replied, and she felt herself deflate slightly. “Oh,” her eyes look downwards and away from Mike and everyone else.

She thought that maybe now wasn’t a good time to admit her reciprocated feelings for Mike, and instead told the group that she found who they were looking for.

With that in mind, El prepared to head back into the Void once again.


	2. "Blank Makes You Crazy" (Episode 7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike finds the right moment to tell El that he loves her, but he keeps fumbling through his words. 
> 
> (Mike's POV of the moment between him and El during Season 3, Episode 7) 
> 
> (Season 3 Spoilers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Spoilers from Season 3.

Mike’s hand was firmly pressed against El’s wound. When he saw it for the first time, his stomach churned and his blood boiled. Despite being broken up, he couldn’t deny that he still cared about El; loved her, even. Something that he had blurted out in his attempts to stop everyone else from only seeing her as a weapon. 

While everyone else went to gather supplies, the teen waited with the telekinetic, quietly taking in her features; her new clothes and friendship with Max, he noted, had definitely changed her. Her caramel brown eyes; the ones that looked frightened when they first met, that hardened when she fought and gradually softened when she looked at him always made his heart pound.

“Does it hurt?” Mike asks. El shrugs. “It’s not bad,” she replies, though the boy could quickly see that she was still in pain. “You’re gonna have an awesome scar. You’ll look even more badass,” he says in an attempt to lighten the mood, and he sees her grin, replying with “‘Bitchin’”, indicating that it worked. 

Mike took a deep breath. He admitted to the others that he loves El, and now, he saw this as the perfect opportunity to tell her right there. Sure, the atmosphere and situation wasn’t ideal, but if he didn’t do it now, he would clam up again. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” He starts out, looking into her eyes again, and oh, boy, he thought, this was a callback to when he kissed her for the first time as a way to express to her how he felt about her. He only hoped that it would end with her in a situation where he would not lose her again. ‘Here I go,’ he says to himself. 

“It’s just, being broken up, it’s been hard.” He continues on, adding that he was okay with her and Max being friends; and that he was wrong for feeling jealous, angry and selfish, admitting that he really wanted her to himself, pointing out how unfair it was. 

“...And I’m sorry. I’ve just never felt like this with anyone before.” he looks at her. How can this segue into his confession. “Well, they do say that it makes you crazy, you know?” He smiles at her, hoping that she would at least catch on to what he was trying to say. 

El’s eyebrows furrowed. “What makes you crazy?” His mouth opens and closes as he tries to comprehend what he just heard. ‘Shit,’ he thought. ‘She doesn’t know what it means. Stay calm, you can do this.’ “Y-You’ve never heard of that before?” he was surprised. He thought she would have heard it said in one of her soap operas. “The whole, you know, blank makes you crazy?” he tried to help her out. Instead of the answer he was looking for, he got a couple different ones thrown at him. 

“It’s like a feeling, something that old people usually say to each other. W-What I’m trying to say here, El, is that I-”

Suddenly, Dustin’s voice is heard from the Super Comm. The two look at each other before Mike scrambles to grab it, immediately responding to Dustin. His ears were ringing, his heart beating a mile a second. After a minute, Dustin’s voice cuts out from the call, Mike screaming to try and see if he can answer back, but to no avail. 

He couldn’t believe he blew his chance, but that didn’t matter. Right now, they had a monster to defeat. “I have to go tell the others, stay here-”   
  


“Mike, what were you trying to say?” 

“El, that can wait. Right now, Dustin needs our help,” Mike replied hastily. “I know, Mike, but this seemed important,” she urges.

“El, it’s not. It’s stupid.” 

“Well, if it’s so stupid, then why bring it up-” She argues. 

“Okay, fine. What I was trying to say is that I love you!” Mike turned to look at her, the words tumbling from his mouth. “There. I said it. I’ve been trying to tell you that, but I just couldn’t find the words.” He finally admits, his cheeks red. “I-I understand if you don’t feel the same way, or if you’re still mad at me about what happened, but I just want you to know that I love you, El Hopper.” 

Mike watches as El’s eyes widen at his confession, her own cheeks blooming into a shade of pink, a smile on her face. He watches her mouth open, as if she wants to tell him something, only for Max to arrive with supplies for El’s wound, the moment broken once again. 

Only one thing he knew for sure, though: His true feelings have been revealed to the most important person to him, and he knew that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I really liked the moment that Mike and El share at Bradley's Big Buy, but then decided that because Mike never got to say the 'L' word to El's face, that this is where he should at least let her know.


	3. "Does Your Species Like M&M's?" (Episode 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El reflects on the events of The Sauna Test when Mike approaches her with an olive branch: a bag of M&M's
> 
> or 
> 
> An extended sequence of the "Does Your Species Like M&M's" scene in El's POV of Season 3, Episode 5.

If she could be honest with herself, El thought that Mike could not get any cuter. But she also thought he was a liar, and she should still be mad at him. Friends don’t lie was something special to her, and she thought he betrayed that. 

Glancing up from the magazine she was reading, she watched as Mike and Lucas attempted to get something to eat from the vending machines, no doubt a Kit Kat bar since she knew that was his favourite chocolate. 

“Oh, come on, you piece of shit!” Mike groaned as he started to hit the machine. Using her powers, she got the candy toppling to the bottom interior of the machine, wiping the blood from her nose as she made eye contact with Mike. Despite the distance, her heart beat just under his gaze. 

She thought back to that moment at the pool, where he attempted to tell her that it was Hopper that made him lie. Her heart began to stutter when Mike told her that she was the most important thing to him in the world, but she kept her walls up since Max said it was best to have him begging on his knees because he treated her like garbage.

And then came the moment where Mike saved her life. Billy, while being possessed by The Mind Flayer, nearly killed her when he began to choke her and Mike swooped in, hitting him in the back of the head. While the feat was small, it was enough to distract him long enough for El to save him in return. Relief flooded through her veins as she slumped down against Mike after throwing Billy through the wall. Closing her eyes, she went back to the brief moment when he comforted her as she broke down in his arms. She missed that feeling; hell, she missed him. 

“Hey, Max!” El shook her head from that memory when Lucas calls for her best friend, the redhead looking over at the dark-skinned teen. “What do you want, Lucas?” she inquired as she approached him. He had a smirk on his face as he held a bag of Skittles in his hands. “Let’s see if you can beat your record?” he asks her. El watches Max’s eyes glint mischievously. “You’re on, Stalker.”

The telekinetic takes a seat and watches as Lucas proceeded to toss candy for his girlfriend to catch in her mouth. She smiled softly at the couple playing together after a day of being apart, but then her smile fades when she sees Mike approach her, taking a seat next to her. El looks away, her walls coming back up. ‘Whatever he’s going to say, don’t fall for it. He’s a liar.’ her brain screamed. 

“Hey,” Mike speaks up. “Hi,” she replies, not sparing him a glance. “Does your species like M&M’s?” Her head turned to look at him, looking at the bag of candies first and then back at him, holding her hand out to him. He pours the candy onto her palm, and a small smile slips from her lips. Her eyes look at his profile; his high cheekbones and the freckles that helped to highlight them, his plump, red lips that she missed kissing.

“I like your new look by the way, it’s cool.” Mike says to her, and her heart swoons again. She could never be truly mad at Mike, not even a little. Is that so wrong? “Thanks.” she replies as she pops a piece of the candy given to her in her mouth.

“How are you feeling?” He asks her. “Huh?” El’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Mike points to her neck and she understands what he meant. “Oh, I’m okay now. It just hurts when I talk,” she explains. The two sat in comfortable silence once again. “Thank you for saving my life again.” The teen said sincerely. “It was nothing, really.” El shook off his thanks.

“Are you kidding me? Whenever I do something stupid, you always swoop in and save the day,” Mike chuckled, causing El to laugh along. “I can’t take all of the thanks, Mike.” El leaned closer to him. “You saved me from Billy,” Mike scoffs lightly. “Now, that was nothing. I merely distracted him.” “But still, you saved me tonight.” She leans up, cupping his cheek, her lips pressing against his cheek. “So, I thank you.” She smiles sincerely, giggling when Mike’s cheeks glow red. 

El didn’t care that she should be mad at Mike, because right now was the beginning of something being rekindled between the two of them.


	4. "The First I Love You" (Before Season Premiere)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Interpretation of "The First I Love You" off of the Stranger Things 3 Score.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! So, this was written roughly a week before Season 3 was released and is my interpretation of the song "The First I Love You" off of the Stranger Things 3 Score. This was already posted on Instagram and is fairly short, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

"Are you sure we should've left our friends out there?" El asks Mike as the pair entered the empty cabin, quickly striding over to her bedroom. "I'm sure they won't mind. Dustin showed us what he was building anyway. Plus, I don't think they'd like us being all 'lovey dovey', you know?"

Mike watches as El's eyebrows furrowed. "Lovey dovey?" She repeats on her tongue. The boy nods. "You, know, like always hugging and kissing each other? Stuff that couples do like in the soap operas you like to watch?" He explains as they sit on her bed, facing each other. 

"Plus, we could..I don't know...maybe kiss without getting interrupted?" He adds, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I mean, I know Dustin just got back from camp, but he'll just end up hanging out with Steve Harrington as soon as he's done." He waved off. El still had a frown on her face, and so Mike leans in and kisses her nose, a giggle ringing out from her lips; ones that quickly pressed against his lips lovingly.

"I love you." The words slip so easily from Mike's lips that it only takes him a moment to realize what he just said; to take in El's surprised expression. Mike's cheeks begin to glow a soft red as he looks away sheepishly. 

"What did you say?" The girl in front of him whispered. Mike gulps. "I love you, El." He repeats with confidence. "Is it too soon? I know we've only dated since...oh shit, I don't even know when we started dating! Was it after the Snow Ball? Or when I asked you out to The Hawk...no, that's not it-" Mike's rambling come to a stop when El kisses him, pulling away and looking into his eyes. 

"I love you, too, Mike." He feels her hands cup his cheeks, the two about to share another kiss. "Ahem." The two freeze their movements, turning to see the tall build of Chief Hopper towering over them from El's bedroom door, and all Mike Wheeler could think of right now is that he is in deep shit.


	5. “You’re Okay” (Episode 8)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The climax and aftermath of The Battle of Starcourt through the eyes of Mike Wheeler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s this huge debate going on where it looked like El kissed Mike after Billy’s sacrifice, so I decided to roll with that theory. 
> 
> I’m thinking of doing interpretations of unseen moments from the other seasons as well, what do you think?

“Mike...Mike, can you hear me?” Mike felt like his head was spinning; feeling like he’s underwater as he could barely make out the sound of his own name being called. 

“You have to get up,” The boy stirred, his eyes fluttering open. The room felt bright; too bright. But then he felt the ache on his face, his hand reaching up, pulling away to see blood. He looked over at Max, the one who had been asking him to wake up as she pulled him to his feet. His eyes darted around the area, his eyes going wide as his blood ran cold when he couldn’t find who he was trying to look out for. 

“W-Where’s El…” Mike asks quietly. 

Max doesn’t answer at first, a look of fear in her blue eyes. A roar shook the mall to its core as they both begin to run and find the telekinetic. “I failed her. I said I didn’t want to lose her again, and I failed to protect her.” Mike berated himself as he and the redhead stumbled out the way.

“Mike, calm down. We’re going to find her, and she will end this.” Max snapped him out of it. “Max, I know is not a good time to argue, but El’s drained! She’s in danger right now; we can’t always rely on her to fix our problems,” 

“I know-”

“No. No, you don’t. You haven’t watched the love of your life disappear from your very eyes.” Mike growled under his breath as they continued to run. “I thought she was dead.” “Are we seriously going to talk about this when the love of your life is in literal danger?!” Max bit back.

The argument between the two teens ceased as they made it to the center of the mall. Everything happened in slow motion as Billy sacrificed himself to save El, Mike hearing Max’s screams of horror as her step-brother collapses, as does the Mind Flayer, but his focus remains with the telekinetic. 

“El,” Mike rushed forward, hugging El tightly, feeling her breathe a huge sigh of relief. “Mike, you’re okay,” he heard her whimper before her lips met his in a frantic kiss, surprising him. The teen held her close, tears streaming down his face before pulling away, their foreheads touching, breaths mingling. 

“I thought I lost you again,”

“You’d have to try harder if you want to get rid of me, you know?” she replies with a smile, turning her head as she watched Max kneel down before Billy, hearing him take his last breath as the girl sobs. El lets go of Mike as she goes closer to Max, holding her friend as she mourns for the loss.

* * *

Mike watches quietly as the place was stormed by government officials. Everything went by in a blur, and he soon found himself sitting next to El in the back of an ambulance, her head on his shoulder. The same action brought him back to two years ago, after she had used a makeshift sensory deprivation tank to find Will and Barb, and he couldn’t help but think that things really were different back then than they were at that moment. 

The two watched as a stretched wheeled out a body covered by a white cloth, no doubt Billy’s to a neighbouring ambulance, Mike bowing his head out of respect. “I hope Max is okay,” Mike hears El whisper. “I know, it’s hard to lose a family member, even if you weren’t close to begin with.” Mike nodded in agreement. 

“Mike?” El’s voice croaked. 

“Yeah,” he turned to look at the girl.

“I need to tell you something too,” Mike watches her sit up so that she could properly face him. “I heard.” she said simply He frowned. “Heard what?” he asked her, feeling confused. Everything that had went down that night made his head spin. 

“I heard what you said, at the cab-”

“Mom!” The moment was interrupted as the pair watched Will run into his mother’s arms, indicating that Hopper was nearby. “We can talk later, El. Go see your dad.” he smiles softly, watching her nod before she slowly stands up and goes to meet up with Mrs. Byers. 

Mike has his eyes on her the whole time, his smile fading as he watched Mrs. Byers shakes her head at El, letting him and El know that Hopper did not survive. His heart dropped just as he watched his love fall to her knees, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. Getting up, he walks over to her, wrapping his arms around her, doing his best to comfort her as she sobs against his chest.

Rain began to fall onto the town of Hawkins as he continued to hold her, whatever she was going to tell him forgotten, and they both knew from that moment on that things have definitely changed. 


	6. "Go to Hell, You Piece of-"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike talks to Lucas further about his girl troubles as they set their trap on Billy. 
> 
> (Set before, during, and after the Billy vs. El fight in Season 3, Episode 4 'The Sauna Test'.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers if you have not watched Season 3 yet!

The plan was set in motion. The public had left the Hawkins Community Pool for the day, but the group knew, according to Max, at least, that Billy would’ve stayed behind for a little while longer to close up for the night.

They were going to see if their theory was true: if Billy was possessed by The Mind Flayer, and to do that, they needed heat, and a lot of it. 

Mike and Lucas had set up the CPR dummy to hang from the ceiling of the Sauna room, the latter’s walkie strapped to its chest. While they did this however, Mike was deep in thought. He couldn’t believe that El and Max would spy on them, remembering when he and his ex were talking about boundaries months before. It was during one of their dates, as El talked to him about how she had spied on him for the 353 days they were apart, which prompted Mike to politely ask that she didn’t do that.

“Why,” she had asked him.

“Because it’s an invasion of privacy,” he replied. “Sometimes I would be doing something I don’t want you to see. Let’s make it a rule: no spying unless it’s completely necessary, like maybe I’m in danger or something. Promise?” Mike explained to her that night. “Promise,” she smiled, kissing his lips. 

The thought of her made the teen’s heart pound. One day, he and El were having romantic moments, ranging from kisses to cheesy ballads, to watching movies together, to having long talks, and everything in between, and then...she dumps him, all because of a dumb lie.

He was confused when she proclaimed ‘I dump your ass’ to his face, only for it to sink in and realize that she broke up with him; his fear that he would never see El again actually coming true in some way, shape or form. He wanted to fix this, he wanted her back. 

“You okay there, Mike?” The teen was taken out of his thoughts as he looked at his best friend and wingman. “I-I guess. I talked to El today and tried to explain the situation, but she was still mad at me.”

“Did you apologize?” Lucas asks.

Mike frowned. “Why would I need to apologize?”

Lucas sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. “See, there’s your problem, man. It doesn’t matter if Hopper made you lie; you still have to apologize for your wrongdoing.” he points out. “But I did nothing wrong!” Mike protested. “Yes, I lied, but that was to protect my relationship with El,”

“Why didn’t you tell it to her that way?”

Mike tightened the ropes around the CPR dummy. “I thought I did. I told her that she was the most important thing to me in the world-” 

Lucas made a face as he tied his end. “Ooh, yep, I can see where else you may have messed up. Calling her a ‘thing’ makes it sound like you’re objectifying her, meaning she’ll think you see her as an object.” Mike’s mouth opened to protest before it shut, taking in what his friend was saying and he realized, yeah he may have been right.

“But, she is important to me, Lucas.” he protested, making sure the frequency attached to the dummy was correct. “I just want her back, I want to fix this,”

  
“And you will; so long as you’ve got my help,” Lucas patted his back encouragingly. 

“You guys done gossiping or what?” Max snarked as she marched up to the boys, El standing next to her with her arms crossed. Mike made eye contact with her before he quickly looked away. 

“Yeah, we’re done.” He muttered quietly. 

“Billy’s almost done his shower. Let’s go.” 

* * *

The plan was working; a little too much for Mike’s liking. Max had stepped up to the door just as they all heard Billy crying and pleading from inside the sauna room when suddenly, “I feel him” Will uttered, fear in his eyes.

Shit, this wasn’t good, he said to himself. “Max, get away from the door,” Mike said quietly. “What,” the redhead replied, confused. “Get away from the door!” he cried out, just as the older teenager broke the glass with a piece of tile, roaring angrily, only to be shot down by Lucas via the wrist rocket. 

Max regroups with them just as the lights begin to flicker when suddenly,Billy breaks out of his confinement. Mike watched as El stood at the forefront, hands to her side to defend her friends before an all-out brawl erupts between her and the flayed teen. Mike’s heart pounded in fear as he watched the girl he cared about pin Billy to the wall with a barbell, only for it to nearly hit her. 

El was clearly losing this fight, but then he watched as he began to choke her. He stood there in shock, watching the life almost drain out of her. He had to think fast; no matter what circumstance like a dumb break up could stop him from loving her and for saving her life. A spike of adrenaline coursed through his veins as his eyes darted around the room. He spots the bar that held the sauna room door closed before, rushing over, picking it up and hitting Billy in the head with a loud, metallic “THWACK!” 

“Go to hell, you piece of SHIT!” he screamed, ready to strike again, but his heroic efforts were short lived as the teen caught the weapon, throwing it to the side, cornering Mike to the wall. He knew he was screwed, but at least El was away from that monster, he thought as he was prepared to meet his fate. 

All of a sudden, Billy was lifted up in the air, and the young teen could immediately tell that it was El who was doing the act. ‘A life for a life,’ he says to himself as El came to stand in front of him, hands still in the air as she screamed bloody murder, hurdling the monstrous teen through the wall. 

Mike panted, back against the wall as he felt El collapse into him, the two sliding to the ground. His immediate instinct was to wrap his arms around her, feeling her hand on his face. “You did good,” he whispered. “You’re doing okay,” Tears threatened to run down his face but he held them back, knowing he had nearly lost her when he swore he didn’t want to.

But she was safe in his arms, even if it was for a brief moment, and that’s all that mattered to him at that moment. The two got up, looking out the hole as the group watched Billy retreat into the darkness, but Mike and everyone else knew that this was only just the beginning of something more sinister; that this battle was far from over. 

No words were spoken between anyone as they headed back to the Wheeler home, and so badly, did he want to check on El and ask if she was okay, but she stayed by Max’s side the entire night, ignoring his attempts. His heart dropped to his stomach. ‘I guess I deserved that for lying to her,’ he sighed as everyone set up camp around the room. As Mike laid on the couch that night, he couldn’t help but replay the events that had occurred. 

El nearly died in front of his eyes again, and he almost didn’t do anything to stop her attacker. He desperately wanted to talk to her, but he could see her asleep close to Max. He thought about all the times she had stepped up to save everyone’s lives, of how his worry would escalate every time something bad would happen to her. He didn’t want to witness anything like that ever again, but then it hit him like the bar to Billy’s head;

He loves her; he loves El, and just that thought alone brought a smile to his face. “I love El...I love her,” he said quietly to himself before he fell asleep.

* * *

Lucas was only pretending to be asleep as he heard Mike mumble to himself. He thought that the poor guy had been through hell and back for his girl, but when he heard him proclaim his love for El, he smiled to himself. “I knew it,” the dark-skinned teen thought to himself. “I totally called it,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sauna Test happens to be my favourite episode of Season 3 (and probably the entire series) because that's where things really start for me. I'm also a sucker for Mileven moments, so imagine my relief when Mike swooped in and saved El from being choked to death, and then her saving him in return.


End file.
